In those pregnancy books, they often to tell you that ‘round about the second trimester, you will have an “increased appetite”. What they neglect to tell you is that said “increased appetite” is more akin to feeling like you are on the brink of starvation approximately 20 hours per day. You think I’m exaggerating? It’s 9:57am as I type this and I have had breakfast and three snacks since I woke up four hours ago. Seriously. Yes, seriously. I ate approximately half as much (if that) when I was training for the half-marathon many moons ago. This baby can eat, let me tell you. She is hungry all the time! And kicks and kicks if not fed NOW. Yes, Mom, RIGHT NOW. No, not after you go to the bathroom or do that important work thing, but N-O-W!!

Lest he be annoyed and disappointed by this recent turn of events, my constant starvation has led to many amusing anecdotes for my hubby to tell over coffee with his friends. His particularly favorite episodes include: The One in Which my Wife cried because she had to have pizza RIGHT NOW and we were driving on a deserted road in the middle of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula approximately eight million miles away from civilization as we know it, The One In Which my wife HAD to have bacon and eggs in the next five minutes OR ELSE, The One in Which my Wife Ate Every Scrap of Decent Food in This House and All I got was this lousy Heal of Bread to Show for it. And, my dear, sweet, loving husband has yet to complain, and in fact states that he is looking forward to the day when he is awoken in the middle of the night by a wife DEMANDING pickles and ice cream, Yes, together, RIGHT NOW. That one has yet to happen. And some of the above MAY be slight exaggerations, but seriously, not far from the truth.

Time for snack #5. I think I’ll trade running for marathon eating. I’m pretty good at it. Unless I run out of food….

1. Al11/10/2008 08:24:00 PM
Homepage: http://www.blood-and-thunder.com

Great scott. I may also be pregnant.