4am-wake up to one kicking baby. Smile. Fall back asleep.
5:30am-wake up (again)-nature calls. Stumble into bathroom without turning on any lights as you have become so familiar with this path you might as well still be sleeping.
A few minutes later, stumble back to bed.
5:45am-alarm blares in your ear. Hit, not so gingerly, the snooze button.
5:53am-drag yourself out of bed. Stare in bathroom mirror and Thank God that your baby is still alive and well, and that another day has passed and you are still pregnant. Eventually, shower, get dressed, wonder when the baby will kick you again. Pray that you won’t see any spotting today, which has plagued you off and on your whole pregnancy.
7:00am-Depart for work
7-8am-Drive in miserable traffic, adjusting your i-pod every few seconds as you can’t seem to find anything worth listening to at this ungodly hour of the morning. Wonder, again, when the baby will kick you.
8am-Arrive at work. Deal with patient complaints and dramas.
10am-Eat hummus, crackers, and chocolate covered raisins because that’s what happens to sound good at that particular moment. Marvel at how weird you have become since you have conceived (Who in their right mind eat’s hummus at 10am on a Monday morning?).
10:30am-start to panic that baby does not seem as active today as it has been the last few days. Google fetal movement. Laugh at yourself for worrying as you read that this early on, movement is not quite regularly felt yet. Wonder if you should call the M.D. just in case. Decide you are being a insane. Go back to working.
11am-eat more chocolate raisins, yet again. Read work emails. Get aggravated at all the changing regulations you have to deal with (more on that in a later post). Wonder again, when you'll feel those kicks.
12pm-Finally, the baby wakes up and starts kicking up a storm. Feel like you are popping a bag of popcorn in your stomach. Feel joyful that you know your baby is still alive and well.
1pm-Eat more food and watch Law and Order on a rare break from work.
2pm-Find something else to panic about, because that’s how it goes with the pregnancy hormones.
2:30pm Begin wondering about whatever else you’ve decided to worry about it while continuing to deal with patients.
3pm-Eat more food. Probably fruit at this point as you feel guilty about all the chocolate covered goodness.
5pm-Finally, blissfully, get in your car and drive home. Continue to wonder about the worry of the hour, alternately laughing at yourself and telling yourself to calm the hell down, and wondering at what point you should call the M.D. just in case.
6pm-Arrive home, make dinner, watch mindless t.v. in an effort to distract yourself and/or spend time with your husband.
8:30ish pm-Fall asleep on couch in a exhausted stupor, while pretending to watch t.v.
10pm-Get woken up by husband and gingerly dragged upstairs to bed. Listen to husband read bed-time story to baby. Pray, even though you are not all too accustomed to doing it, that your baby will be born healthy. Collapse into exhausted sleep.
And rinse, recycle, and repeat each day, while also marking off every day as one day closer to your due date, always praying that your baby will be fine in the end.
.(1)
Love Can Change Your Mind
I never knew it before that I could feel this way
I thought I'd lost my faith
But since you captured my heart
I can say, oh, that...
Love can change your mind, I know
Love can move your heart and soul
And just when you think
Hope has gone and left you behind
Love can change your mind
Picture it if you will, heaven right here on earth
Suddenly, everything's new
Now, I can see what believing was worth, oh, 'cause...
Love can change your mind, I know
Love can move your heart and soul
And just when you think
Hope has gone and left you behind
Love can change your mind
I was so lost and alone
I felt like my angels had flown away
But now my heart has come home
And I know that it's here to stay, oh, 'cause...
Love can change your mind
And just when you think
Hope has gone and left you behind
Love can change your mind, I know
Love can move your heart and soul
And just when you think
Hope has gone and left you behind
Love can change your mind
Read More . . .
(0)
I'd forgotten how much I love this song...Such a beautiful piece. Enjoy.
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Bridge Over Troubled Water
~ Simon & Garfunkel
by Paul Simon
(0)
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Since it's raining incessantly I thought I'd share some Dar Williams, one of my fav singers. Enjoy.
THE BEAUTY OF THE RAIN
And you know the light is fading all too soon
You're just two umbrellas one late afternoon
You don't know the next thing you will say
This is your favorite kind of day
It has no walls, the beauty of the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls
And there's nothing wrong, but there is something more
And sometimes you wonder what you love her for
She says you've known her deepest fears
Cause she's shown you a box of stained-glass tears
It can't be owned, the truth about the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls
But when she gave you more to find
You let her think she'd lost her mind
and that's all on you
Feeling helpless if she asked for help
or scared you'd have to change yourself
And you can't deny this room will keep you warm
You can look out of your window at the storm
But you watch the phone and hope it rings
You'll take her any way she sings,
or how she calls, the beauty of the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls
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More Dar. Enjoy! And in the spirit of the song, remember to keep your dreams alive. What can you do in a day?
Closer to Me
You can leave this house, leave this town.
Leave it all to me, or you'll never leave the ground.
Look at that tiny screen's too small for you.
I think you should learn to dream, just like the dreamers do.
What can you do with a day?
What will you wake up and see?
The farther you get, the closer to me.
Am I the habit you're too tired to break?
I want you to love me with every step you take.
What can you do with a day?
What will you wake up and see?
The farther you get, the closer to me.
Taj Mahal, Cameroon, back in time, to the moon,
frozen lake, cypress trees, Florida's missing keys,
El Dorado, Spain or bust, Eiffel Tower, Paris, just find your way in.
You should leave this house, leave this town,
all that's left to chart is nothing less than your own heart.
What can you do with a day?
What will you wake up and see?
The farther you get, the closer to me.
Down the river, down the road, Little Rock, Tokyo,
dusty trail, Flagstaff, in a faded photograph,
Thunderstorm, Golden Sands, Cape of Horn,
Pakistan, Surinam, Highway One, Chinatown, smoking gun.
Golden Gate, Baltic Sea, Painted Desert, Laramie,
Taj Mahal, Cameroon, back in time, to the moon,
frozen lake, cypress trees, Florida's missing keys,
El Dorado, Spain or bust, Eiffel Tower, Paris, just find your way in.
[
(0)
For all the people I know who are struggling right now, trying to find their way...a little gift from Sheryl Crow (my latest music obsession). Peace.
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe
(Sheryl Crow/Bill Bottrell)
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